Boy…This is Awkward

So…. Apparently this is my basketball blog now. I’ve never had a basketball blog, my thoughts usually come quickly and without much structure. This makes my twitter account @raptorsproblems (shameless plug I know) my personal favorite outlet. I’ll do what i can to change my thought process and throw my day to day rants up on here though and anyone who can survive my NBA manic depression may occasionally be blessed with some solid insight.

As I write this I’m watching my hometown Toronto Raptors take on the Golden State gunners and  more importantly Aaron Grey is doing this incredible magic trick in which he looks like a basketball player… Seriously, The Caveman, The Bearded Lurch, Sloth from the goonies has lumbered his useless backend to 20pts and 9 rebounds with 2 minutes to go with an array of point blank wide open dunks and layup. This is proof to all you big awkward white kids out there that if you grow tall enough and can learn where to stand away from the guys in the bad uniforms you have a shot in the NBA! WOOHOO!

Thanks Aaron! Thanks for so much inspiration.  Any kid with a heart of gold and legs the size of tree trunks can make millions of dollars annually without any real significant skill other than heart. Ladies and Gentleman this is the American Dream!

I can hardly begin to tell you guys how uncontrollably excited I am to have Chris Andersen back in an NBA uniform, Miami Heat or not. Its inspired me to read Shakespeare, and write poetry. I mean how can a man that looks this great not inspire you?birdman051012

That is just magical, that is what god intended. This guy and Mike Miller definitely grew up in the same trailer park. Mike Miller moved away from the park to live in Bel Air with his Auntie and Uncle but  Chris was left behind and this is what happened. There was a time when Birdman blocking shots and waving his arms left me with a warm feeling in my heart. A time like 08-09 when his 2.5 blocks per game in only 20 minutes  led to inspired gems such as this

To block or not to block – that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The shots and layups of outrageous shooters,
Or to take arms against a sea of floaters
And, by opposing, stuff them. To block, to shoot
No more – and by block to say we end
The heartache of the thousand natural shots
That ball is heir to – ‘tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To shoot, to block
To block, perchance to dream.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This is where I leave you

A

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