The NBA draft is exciting and fun for so many reasons: it’s a chance to watch as young, gifted, (largely) wide-eyed and fresh-faced basketball prospects see their dreams of making the NBA fulfilled. For fans of systematically bad and long-suffering teams, it’s a chance for redemption – the opportunity to draft a Kevin Garnett, Lebron James, or, if you’re Toronto, an Andrea Bargnani to lead your franchise to (wildly varying levels of) glory and playoff time. If you’re a perennial playoff contender, it’s a chance to get that final piece of the puzzle in order to facilitate a deep playoff run. If you’re Sam Hinkie, it’s an opportunity to feed your insatiable lust for draft picks and wheeling & dealing all the while giving the league the finger (#trusttheprocess). If you’re a fan of any of the other 29 NBA teams, it’s a chance to make fun of the New York Knicks. For pundits and amateur basketball nerds, the opportunities to speculate, pontificate, analyze, and criticize are nearly endless. But most importantly, the NBA draft is a golden opportunity for people of all ages, casual and hardcore fans alike, to indulge in the oldest and noblest tradition associated with annual events: destructive drinking games. Now obviously drinking responsibly is paramount, especially for the long suffering Knicks, Kings or Raptors fan as this last alcohol fueled push could be all it takes to put you over the edge to maniacal super villainy. Now that the disclaimer has been said grab your poison of choice and make sure you watch tonight’s event with these rules in front of you.
- Drink if a player is a traded
- Drink whenever Jay Bilas uses or references “wingspan”
- Drink whenever Adam Silver struggles with a player’s name
- Drink any time Jay Bilas uses the term “Upside Potential”
- Drink any time a prospect has to go on stage and put on hat when we know they’ve been traded
- Drink any time Mario Hezonja or Emmanuel Muiday are referred to as this year’s “mystery men” (despite the former player on FC Barcelona, arguably the most well known non NBA team on the planet and the latter not only committed to NCAA D1 program but played all his high school and AAU basketball in the USA.)
- Drink every time Fran Fraschilla is brought out to talk about a European prospect
- Drink each time Jalen Rose mentions a prospects suit or his own draft night suit
- Any time Chris Broussard talks about his “multiple Sources” even though we all know he just stares at Twitter and waits for Woj Bombs like the rest of the sports media.
Show Stoppers: This is our ” Finish Your Drink” Category, please strap in accordingly.
- Finish your drink whenever New York Knicks fans are seen or heard booing
- Finish your drink if a Caucasian player is referred to as “scrappy” or a “gym rat” ( please crack open and drink another if this player is then compared to another player when the only similarity they share is that they’re white)
- Finish your drink if a player is traded more than once on draft night
- Finish your drink if someone manages to bring up Riley Curry at all during this night
- Finish your drink if a draft day suit is so bad anyone other than Jalen Rose makes fun of it
- Finish your drink if the Toronto Raptors take a 6’7-6’10 forward with “tremendous length” and ” upside potential” who is “a few years away from contributing”
- Finish your drink if DeMarcus Cousins is traded during the draft and pour some liquor out of Kings fans
- Screw it, finish your drink when Broussard talks about his “multiple sources”
- Finish your drink in celebration if Willie Cauley Stein’s middle name ” Trill” is brought up
Now these are just guidelines, feel free to make your own rules as you go, especially if your team doesn’t draft the players you want. Hell, if your team makes whatever you deem to be a bad draft pick, throw caution to the wind, chug that bottle of liquor and proceed to write your franchise a long profanity filled tirade and send it to the GM. Just please make sure you send me a copy either on our Twitter or leave a comment right here on the website. Enjoy the draft tonight everyone and I hope this drinking game serves your purposes, if you enjoy it make sure to share with a friend